


Celebrity Passes

by maxduckbutt



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Changmin's so done, Crack, Fluff, Heechul meddles, Jealousy, M/M, Romance, Yunho's an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 02:50:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6686176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxduckbutt/pseuds/maxduckbutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yunho's regretting the entire concept of celebrity passes. Changmin just wants everyone out alive. Jaejoong is obsessed and there's a creeping creeper who creeps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Celebrity Passes

You know how people talk about “celebrity passes” in relationships? That one celebrity that you’d throw the entire moral obligation of staying faithful to your significant other away for? That one crush that makes you push your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife’s face away just so that you can scream mild mannered profanities at the person on your computer screen for “ruining your life”?

Sound familiar?

Good.

Now a lot of you might say, “Yeah, but people just say stuff like that. It doesn’t mean they’d actually do anything about it or even have the God given opportunity to do anything about it. So, stop overreacting.”

Yeah, see, that’s the funny thing. What if your significant other is a well-known concert producer, who actually has the opportunity to interact with his “celebrity crush” on a day to day basis? Would you still be as okay with this “pass” in that case?

No, really. Take a minute to sit back and actually think. Not just that passing “I’d trust the man/woman I’m in love with” spiel, but actually think about whether you’d be okay with your beau hanging around with the person they’ve repeatedly and vividly described wanting to screw on a regular basis.

Are you okay with that? Really?

No?

Yeah. I didn’t think so.

(Or, if you are, you’re certainly a lot more “free will” oriented than I will ever be. Cheers.)

So you can imagine poor Yunho’s all consuming jealousy, when he watches his boyfriend sidling up to Hyde and staring at him with wide, glittering eyes.

Now Yunho was a man that prided himself on self-control. He was the go to man for discipline and all things manly. Heck, the dude never moisturised. He was all calloused skin and muscle. Very nice muscles.

Hard muscle...like...everywhere...no really...everywhere.

(Keep your panties on ladies or gents. Go home to your men or women. The man’s so gone on his boyfriend; he wouldn’t glance at you if you were doing the Zumba naked. People have tried.)

But even he had weaknesses. One weakness was in the form of a wide-eyed, kohl wearing, pouty-lipped siren named Kim Jaejoong.

Jaejoong and Yunho had met way back when in college. It was everything you expected it to be. Jaejoong took one look at the dancer and decided that he was “the one” and the rest was history.

It’s long been acknowledged that whatever Kim Jaejoong wants, Kim Jaejoong gets.

Personally, I just think it’s because Yunho spoils him rotten. But that’s just me.

Anyway, back to the story.

So there Yunho is, trying not chew his lips off as he stares at the horrifying sight in front of him and next to him is a very irate looking Changmin who looks like he’s ready to cut a bitch. Pardon the language.

“Hyung, will you please stop glaring holes into Hyde-Sama’s head. The man’s a legend and aren’t you the one harping on about respecting people who’re older than you?”

This is true.

“I’m not glaring holes into anyone’s head. I’m just having my wine and taking in the atmosphere.”

This is not true.

And Changmin agrees, if the eye roll is anything to go by.

“Yunho-hyung, please, if your eyes could shoot laser beams there’d be actual physical holes going through the man’s head. Jaejoong hyung’s happy, alright? He wants to spend time with the man he admires, what’s so wrong about that?”

Oooh snap. Wrong question, son.

“What’s wrong with that?!” Yep. There you go. Finally snapped. Like a twig. “What’s wrong is the fact that that is the man I’ve had to repeatedly hear my boyfriend talk about fucking since before we even got together. That’s what’s wrong with that.”

Somebody call the fire brigade, Jung’s going to blow a fuse.

“Hyung, will you relax, people say shit like that all the time and in case you haven’t noticed, the man is so head over heels in love with you that he wouldn’t even think about hurting you like that.”

Again. True.  
“Don’t give me that bullshit, Changmin. It’s all easy to talk about until it’s your significant other pulling stuff like this.”

Also true.

“He’s not pulling anything, God, Hyung, you’re acting like a jealous child.”

Meh. Could go either way.

Yunho just glares at Changmin before turning back to watch Jaejoong and Hyde again.

Jaejoong’s just standing there and staring at the man and well....

Shit.

Oh shit.

Fuck the fire brigade, we’re going to need the police, cause there’s going to be some serious homicide going on in this place.

Jaejoong’s got his hands on the man’s collar and he’s...fixing it?

Yep, Changmin’s caught on.

“H-hyung, you’re going to break the stem of that glass. Jaejoong-hyung does that to everybody, right? I mean you’ve seen the man smoothening out my jeans around my ass, which I still find questionable by the way, and you haven’t got mad even once. Don’t create a scene.”

Too late. Ho oh ho oh is it too late.

Let’s just take this slowly.

Yunho’s putting the glass down.

He’s brushing away Changmin’s hands.

He’s walking up to the pair.

Hooo shit, what’s going to happen?!

He’s put a hand on Jaejoong’s shoulder.

Hyde’s looking amused? at Yunho.

Jaejoong’s looking..well pissed.

“Excuse me, Hyde-Sama. I’ll be right back.”  
Yep. Jaejoong’s dragging Yunho away.

Hyde’s just laughing...and did he...did he just fucking wink at Changmin? Dayum, now that’s a story.

Anyway, following...following...let’s see where Jaejoong’s taken-

Aha.

Wait.

Ew. No. No. I did not need to see them snogging. Yeesh. Is that..? Yep it’s upgraded itself to tonguing.

“Yunho, why are you jealous?”

Somebody call Captain Obvious, Jaejoong needs assistance.

“Because I don’t like seeing you with men that you’ve expressed interest in.”

“Oh like when you had a huge crush on Eugene and then actually did an MV with her?”

Point.

“That’s different!”

“How’s that different?”

Yes, Yunho, how?

“I wasn’t making googly eyes at her and adjusting her clothes for her.”

“Yunho, you had a full on sex scene with the woman, I think we’ve established that you went way past googly eyes and adjusting clothes with that one.”

Damn. Another point.

“Yeah, but I’d never do anything to hurt you by doing something outside the realms of being strictly professional.”

“And you can’t give me the same courtesy?”

Jaejoong’s on fire~ (sang that bit in my head like “this girl is on faiyah~”)

“There’s nothing professional about this setting, Jaejoong.”

“So what you’re saying is, I shouldn’t be polite to someone by fixing the person’s collar on one of their biggest nights because it’s not in a studio surrounded by cameras, and that I shouldn’t look fondly at a man whose music I’ve appreciated for say about 15 years? Have I got that about right?”

“That’s not-“

“Yeah, Yunho, it better not be. Because let’s make one thing very clear, I have never done, nor will I ever do anything to hurt you so long as it’s within my ability to prevent it. I have admittedly had fantasies about that man because I mean – look at him – he’s a fine ass-“

“Jaejoong.”

“Right. Sorry. What I’m saying is, that even if the man turned up naked in front of me, I wouldn’t even look­-“

“Jaejoong...”

“Okay, I’d look. But I wouldn’t even think abou-“

“Jaejoong. Really?”

“Fine. I’d think about it, but I’d never do it because I love you more than anything else in the world, you stupid man. I’d rather have one you than a hundred Hydes.”

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. I mean come on, it is awww.

Yunho’s got a little smug smile going on there.

Idiot.

“Now come here, you stupid bear. I’ve been trying to ignore you in that suit the entire night. Maybe we can sneak out into the terrace for a bit for some-“

Yeah. Okay. I’m going to go. This is getting beyond PG-13 for me now.

“Heechul-Hyung. What the fuck are you doing skulking around in the dark?”

Damn. Changmin found me.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment/Kudos you know the drill.


End file.
